Archive for August 15th, 2010

August 15, 2010

Rage is never pretty…..

by Rod Smith

Call me....

Want wisely.....

Rage is never pretty – not in you, me, nor in the man in the moon. It has no upside. It produces nothing worth having. It reduces everyone in its environment to a victim. It scares children. There’s nothing redeeming about rage. It causes physiological distress, psychological pain, and accelerates physical exhaustion. It hurts relationships. Rage is always ugly, always destructive.

Rage is never helpful

I’ve witnessed rage erupt in clients during therapy where there’s a sudden burst of rage over a matter that might appear inconsequential to the observer. I’ve seen it while I am engaged in the give and take of life – a woman loses it with her child in public, a man yells uncontrollably in the traffic, a teenager storms off from a parent in the mall.

Regretfully, I’ve felt it in me. Forces collide, my world feels out of control, I resort to blaming others for whatever I perceive as having gone wrong. Something primal snaps. I’m momentarily blind, deaf to reason. Then, I breathe deeply. I hold onto myself. Reason returns. Logic prevails. I get my focus off others. I look at myself. I take responsibility for myself. Do I always catch it? Handle it well? Of course not.

How is a person to handle a moment of rage in a loved one? Keep a level head. Walk away. Try not to react. Don’t personalize it. It’s not about you. You may participate in the precipitating event, but you don’t cause the outburst. In the moment of his or her fury don’t try to reason, negotiate, or restrain.

This too shall pass.

August 15, 2010

Creating a “no-regret Monday”…..

by Rod Smith

Don’t let your age get in your way….

Janey Cutler (80), a retired cleaning lady from Scotland, showed the world that her age doesn’t get in her way. She belted out “No Regrets” on “Britain’s Got Talent” and became an instant celebrity. If you’ve not seen her moving performance it is readily available on the Internet.

Having taken a few minutes to watch Janey, I challenge you, no matter what your age, to complete these five simple joyful tasks to facilitate your “No-Regret-Monday.”

1. Phone a friend or relative and draw his or her attention to some act of kindness he or she did that benefitted you.
2. Mail a cheque to a cause dear to your heart.
3. Call a meeting of your immediate family and tell them you love them.
4. Call and thank a coach, teacher, or mentor who helped you through a difficult period in your life.
5. Deliver a simple and anonymous gift to a neighbor.

Let me know how it goes.

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