Note to self: the best time to begin a journey of no regrets is today, right now, this very minute. Please join me in meeting the following challenges:

• Contact that estranged relative. Begin a process of mending and healing. Do so while first protecting the integrity of your immediate family and taking care of your primary responsibilities.

• Establish firm boundaries with everyone you know, from the most casual of acquaintances to the most intimate of companions.

• Do what you can to right your known wrongs. Also, acknowledge that some errors of judgment and lapses of integrity are, with the passage of time, beyond your power to redeem. Sometimes, all you can do is sincerely apologize and not repeat the same errors.

• Embrace unusual challenges and opportunities, especially the opportunities to serve others and those opportunities that test and challenge your natural desire for comfort.

• Go counter. When others are seeking power and influence do what you can to give it away. When others are angry and resentful, look for opportunities to bring peace. Find goodness where it appears to be absent.

• Acknowledge that there is more to life that what you know and others have the capacity and the power to teach you, no matter who they are, if you are open and available to learn.

My heart is warmed. Last week I responded to a letter a woman wrote about her depression. She said she could not afford a psychologist or any other appropriate medical help. The simplicity of her letter moved me to publish her letter unedited and the depth of her cry clearly touched many Mercury readers. The column was published on Thursday. I tried, from this distance, to offer some keys and insight into depression. I underscored the necessity of being part of a close community of supportive friends.

By Saturday I had eight or nine emails from mental health professionals, family of mental health professionals, and other related referrals all from the greater Durban area.

Professionals offered vastly reduced rates or pro-bono services for the reader.

Thank you. Thank you so much. My hope is that the writer of the original plea will select a source of help from the emails and get the kind of help she needs.

As a writer I am deeply encouraged by the grace of the readers of this column and thankful for the ongoing support I have known for many years.

Kindly note it has become necessary to switch email addresses. Here’s the new one: RodESmith122@gmail.com. The “122” is simply the street number of our home.

This past week has been pivotal for me. I have now had the privilege of teaching on every continent. I have not, like a handful of people I know, been to every country on Earth – but there’s still time.

In the process I read listen as much as I can and I gather people-stories.

While there are people in the depths and on the fringes of severe mental health issues in all communities and in all cultures and to whom this may not apply, I have discovered both up-close and casually, that people are much the same in despite differences in culture, language, race, and expressions of faith or the apparent lack of it:

• People are helpful and pleasant when you yourself are friendly and open.
• People want to belong, they want respect, they want worthwhile endeavors into which they can plow their idea, talents, and strength.
• People will do about anything for their children, especially their education.
• Bitterness and family resentments can lodge themselves in families, rich and poor, and can pervert thinking and perceptions for generations for those families.
• It takes just one family member who is in the midst of most entangled of toxic family circumstances to begin dramatic positive shifts when he or she embraces the courage to live a life of forgiveness, reconciliation, and grace.