“I think my wife (4 years) is drinking too much. She says it relieves her stress. I sometimes join her. If I refuse she badgers, calls me playful names, and gets out of control after a few. It’s always at home. It’s always just the two of us. It’s unpleasant if I won’t join her. I think she is an alcoholic or at least almost one. We are still hoping to have children. I am nervous about her drinking when she pregnant. I am nervous about life with an alcoholic. I saw what my mother went through with my father. How do I get her help?”  

An informal way to assess if a behavior is already (or becoming) an addiction is as follows:

• Does the person experience cravings for the substance?
• Has a job or status been lost because of the activity?
• Has a significant relationship been threatened or lost because of the behavior?

If any one is positive the person is an addict or well on the way to being one.

Addicts don’t usually enjoy or respond well to exposure or confrontation. Denial is the usual response. In the cold light of a sober morning-moment, express your fears to your wife. Show her this column. She might not buckle and agree to run for help immediately or warm to either of us, but it may well set her sober mind thinking.