Lower-functioning people, like lower-functioning families, are mind-bogglingly predictable. They invade boundaries, war over roles, suffer and inflict jealousies, wade in unresolved conflicts, wholesale gloom, demand inordinate attention, collect wounds, and are critical of any who cut loose of their tired patterns and conversations. They are usually rigid, right, and religious.
While I have empathy for such people and families, although it is usually wasted, and while some require intensive help to break their repetitive orbit, until such individuals and families are ready for change, the helper (counselor, therapist, coach) will spin his or her wheels on the client-designed treadmill until the helper becomes part of the client’s low-functioning litany of moans.
Higher-functioning people and families are wildly unpredictable. They care about what works, about what is kind, and how all or most people can benefit from their actions and attitudes. Who is in charge, who and who is honored is of little interest to them, largely because such concerns are eclipsed by the level of meaning that comes with living.
I hope you will get ahold of your life before someone else does.
May you define yourself before someone else does.
May you escape rigidity, religion, and being right, and find it replaced with ambiguity, faith, flexibility, and fun.
And, may it also be true for me.