Seeking emotional pain is usually foolish. There are people who appear to intentionally engage in unhealthy relationships, who knowingly trade in deceit, who betray long-held friendships, and provoke jealousy. It is as if they get up in the morning with the goal of attracting drama at every turn and it seldom disappoints.

Then, there are those who avoid emotional pain as much as possible.

They refuse to be “up front” with what they need and want, they enduringly bury their dreams and ambition for the sake of “peace.” They tolerate all manner of nonsense in the belief that exercising their freedoms, developing their voices, expanding their horizons will be more painful than the life they have thus far created.

All growth and change requires some loss and loss usually – but not always – requires some pain.

Marching, or even limping, toward healthy and necessary pain and facing and embracing the inevitable necessary trauma of getting into a healthier place may be a terrifying idea for habitual conflict-avoiders and for those who persistently deny themselves a more fulfilling future.

But, it is worth it.

The vast majority of my clients who pay the price of pain in the immediate for something better in the future are overwhelmingly pleased they did it.

Posted on December 8, 2016 at 4:12 pm in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL