A dozen traits of the healthy members of your family:

• They do not take sides even if it is to their apparent advantage
• They expose gossip for what it is and refuse to be part of it
• The are very much a part of the family but don’t appear to be trapped by any of the family’s problems – this can appear to some who are trapped by the family’s problems as if they do not care
• They find reasons to compliment even the most difficult members of the family
• They listen more than they speak
• They speak well of family members and if they cannot speak well of someone they keep their silence
• They avoid digging up the past unless it is in fun and to laugh at themselves
• They accept criticism
• They are unpredictable and appear to break the family rules
• They show little regard for hierarchy or age while at the same time they are respectful to all
• They are people you can trust with your healthy secrets but not with your attempts to get them to take sides against anyone
• They know how to relax and to laugh and to have fun and they know how to work really hard and get things done when it is time to work