My husband of 20 years is an alcoholic. He gets abusive when he is drunk and cannot have his way with me. I moved out 3 months ago. I asked him to give up drinking and seek help, which he says he will do. He blames me for the problem and accused me of making the children (12 and 18) uncomfortable due to them having to live between two homes. When he is sober I tend to feel sorry for him. He has never been abusive when sober. He claims if I come back he will give it up or control his drinking and cannot do it without us.
Don’t fall for his blame game – you are not the drunk. If you want the marriage, reconsider moving back after he has had at least a full year of total sobriety through the consistent help of Alcoholics Anonymous.