Trying to solve issues of another’s making seldom works: former mother-in-law and former daughter-in-law still in a tangle…

by Rod Smith

Reader writes: My daughter-in-law is estranged from my son but still lives in our attached flat with their young son. I have to continually have to remind her to keep the flat clean. She tells me, “You are not my mother stop telling me what to do.” She is not qualified to do anything and refuses get a driver’s license (even after being offered help to study the manual). She has to be driven everywhere. She does not have any friends so we have to baby sit. If she were friendly with some of the other mothers we would gladly take the child to his friends or have them to play at our house. At her child’s birthday party she did not communicate with any of them. I had to run the party and speak to the mothers. (Shortened from a much longer letter)

Rod’s response: You are much too involved with an issue not your own. Give her a date by which she must move out. Announce to your son it is time he stepped up and took responsibility for his son. You, the former mother-in-law, are not responsible for the future of your former daughter-in-law. Back off, or she will never stand on her own two feet.

One Comment to “Trying to solve issues of another’s making seldom works: former mother-in-law and former daughter-in-law still in a tangle…”

  1. Rod is correct, what motivation does this women have as long as you are there to do it all. Time to cut loose.

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