Archive for March 26th, 2007

March 26, 2007

Trying to solve issues of another’s making seldom works: former mother-in-law and former daughter-in-law still in a tangle…

by Rod Smith

Reader writes: My daughter-in-law is estranged from my son but still lives in our attached flat with their young son. I have to continually have to remind her to keep the flat clean. She tells me, “You are not my mother stop telling me what to do.” She is not qualified to do anything and refuses get a driver’s license (even after being offered help to study the manual). She has to be driven everywhere. She does not have any friends so we have to baby sit. If she were friendly with some of the other mothers we would gladly take the child to his friends or have them to play at our house. At her child’s birthday party she did not communicate with any of them. I had to run the party and speak to the mothers. (Shortened from a much longer letter)

Rod’s response: You are much too involved with an issue not your own. Give her a date by which she must move out. Announce to your son it is time he stepped up and took responsibility for his son. You, the former mother-in-law, are not responsible for the future of your former daughter-in-law. Back off, or she will never stand on her own two feet.

March 26, 2007

Girlfriend throws tantrums……

by Rod Smith

“Whenever my girlfriend gets upset she throws tantrums – which I find to be an interesting tactic. I’ve started treating my girlfriend’s behavior with as if she is was a young toddler, so I ignore her tantrums and don’t let her get her own way. Most people give up tantrums by at least the age of 14! I’ve also started editing what I say because almost everything, and anything, I say can end with an emotional explosion. I didn’t even speak today because I was scared to be verbally attacked. I think she needs a psychiatrist urgently! Does this sound like bullying (or should she be) a mental patient? Her dad threatened to beat me up too. ALL the women in the family are divorced! Warning bells: RING-A-LING-A-LING! What is really irritating is that she spouts about being compassionate and talks of “unconditional love.” I think she has a slight distortion of reality!”

Call me... 317 694 8669 (USA)

Call me... 317 694 8669 (USA)

Warning bells RING-A-LING-A-LING: people are often attracted to persons who are at similar levels of emotional development. Are you a toddler too? Now that you have attempted to assess the mental health of your girlfriend, you might take some time to assess the status of your own mental health. Being so focused on her instabilities appears to blind you to your own.