Archive for March 19th, 2007

March 19, 2007

My son (14) is smoking……

by Rod Smith

QUESTION: While I was cleaning my son’s bedroom I found evidence that he (14) is smoking cigarettes. This was very disturbing. We are a family that has always emphasized the dangers of smoking. His father and I would like to handle this wisely. Do we tell his younger bothers?


ROD’S REPLY: It is always astounding to me that young men and women voluntarily begin behaviors that millions of older persons are trying to end!


Over a private dinner, take turns to address him about what you have found, and ask him if there is any information about the dangers of smoking he might be missing. A loving and united front, where mom and dad address him together regarding what you have found, will, in my opinion, be all your son needs at this time.


Make it clear, that with greater cunning, he is probably very capable of fooling his parents, and can continue to smoke. Make it doubly clear that you hope this is not the option he will choose. Tell him that while you will not police his behavior, you will expect him to do the wiser thing and refrain from smoking.


I can see no useful purpose in embarrassing your son by allowing news of his surreptitious behavior to reach his younger siblings.