Archive for March 14th, 2007

March 14, 2007

Why do all my relationships seem to go sour in the same way….?

by Rod Smith

Unhealthy patterns occur in relationships when a person …

  1. Does not sufficiently, or successfully, sever, and then recover from a previous romantic relationship before a new one begins. (Commonly referred to as “rebounding.”)
  2. Embraces a false, or faulty, unrealistic, definition of love.
  3. Gives the relationship an inordinate amount of attention. (This is seen when someone seems to disappear – becomes unavailable to other friends – in the wake of a new love interest).
  4. Offers too much of themselves (sexual favors, money, unlimited time) to someone whom he or she hardly knows.
  5. Has unrealistic expectations of any relationship, and therefore believes relationships offer what relationships simply cannot, and do not, offer.
  6. Thinks (believes, hopes) the other person is all he or she will ever need. [“I can’t live without you, AND you are all I need to live.”]
  7. Confuses nakedness with intimacy, lust with passion, and touch with love.
  8. Trades long-term commitment (taking things very slowly) for an immediate thrill (“I want it all now!”).
  9. Sincerely believes his or her love is powerful enough to change undesired characteristics in another person. (“Once we are married she’ll stop drinking.”)