Archive for March 29th, 2007

March 29, 2007

Husband is a drunk who tries to blame me for his abuse of alcohol and me….

by Rod Smith

My husband of 20 years is an alcoholic. He gets abusive when he is drunk and cannot have his way with me. I moved out 3 months ago. I asked him to give up drinking and seek help, which he says he will do. He blames me for the problem and accused me of making the children (12 and 18) uncomfortable due to them having to live between two homes. When he is sober I tend to feel sorry for him. He has never been abusive when sober. He claims if I come back he will give it up or control his drinking and cannot do it without us.

Kind, strong, pointed - daily

Kind, strong, pointed - daily

It is his drinking, and not your behavior that has resulted in your deciding to move out. If your children are uncomfortable with having to live between two homes is it his drinking that has necessitated the move. (I will point out that most children are quite relieved to be out of homes where the abuse of alcohol and all it often entails must be endured).

Don’t fall for his blame game – you are not the drunk. If you want the marriage, reconsider moving back after he has had at least a full year of total sobriety through the consistent help of Alcoholics Anonymous.