Archive for March 6th, 2007

March 6, 2007

Mother at 60 is very demanding…..

by Rod Smith

QUESTION: My parents divorced when my sister and I were very young. My mum had many relationships that did not last. She is now 60 and very bitter. She appreciates nothing and tells us that we owe her everything for sacrificing her whole life for us. We provide financially for her and try and take her out often, but it doesn’t ever seem to be enough. We try our best for her while still keeping it together with our families, jobs, and lives. My sister and I are at our wits ends. She told us for years what terrible children we are. Recently in one of her many outbursts, she told us to forget we have a mother. We are trying to honour her as children should, but she turns every opportunity into an abuse session. How do we handle this ongoing situation without over compensating to our own detriment?

ROD’S RESPONSE: You are no longer children. Honouring your mother will involve steadfastly refusing to be manipulated. Playing into her self-pity will only cause it to grow. Define yourself. Decide, with your respective spouses, what you will and will not do, according to your immediate families’ needs. Allowing your mother to drain you in this manner serves neither you nor your children well.

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