- Your close friends think you are becoming too outspoken and are speaking your mind in ways they consider uncharacteristic of you. They say you are out of control.
- Your have reframed your secrets and can now see how they have held you back or shifted your trajectory and you are doing what you can to get rid of them or use them for your wellbeing rather than your slow destruction.
- You have seen the light regarding the difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking and have embraced and engaged in the necessary conflict required to be a peacemaker.
- You have embarked on defining yourself rather than allowing others to do it for you and have faced the music of those who’d prefer you to stay as you were.
- You are progressively shedding victimhood and taking full responsibility for yourself in every manner: financial, spiritual, psychological, and sexual.
- You are being generous and kind at every turn and have begun to see first-hand the domino effect of goodness, forgiveness, and generosity.
- You are writing a script for the immediate and the future that includes respect, mutuality, and equality in all your relationships.
There are victims everywhere – and, here’s the kicker, there may be one within you, or me.
Resist him. Don’t placate her. He’s out to get you. She’ll persist until she gets her way.
Unless he or she is willing to grow, any expectation to grow up, become stronger, to cast aside the victim mode, will be resisted.
Don’t give in, don’t placate, or soften your serve – be kind but treat people as strong and capable.
Perversely there are rewards for being a victim.
Easily offended, rapidly bruised, ever on the lookout for any who may infringe their fragile sense of self, be it for race, gender, sexual orientation, language, or size, victims crave attention, demand coddling and expect social waivers.
The backlash, if you expect someone who trades upon his or her victim status to grow up, is inevitable.
It’ll be tooth and nail. You’ll be called names – the nicest of which may be uncaring or unloving.
But you will potentially spark the best in people.
You will foster growth and see the victim emerge from his or her victim-hood and contribute to your community in helpful, creative ways, rather than suck the life out of everything as victims are often prone to do – even if he or she is living within you, or me.