How to know you are an adult…

by Rod Smith

We are fully adult when:

1. We can be authentic with all people and treat others as equals, despite rank, position or the apparent lack of it.

2. We respect mutuality and equality in all of our relationships.

3. We have acknowledged our hurts, grieved appropriately, and decided to live to the fullest.

4. We can delay gratification.

5. Confusion, ambiguity and uncertainty are allies, not enemies. We can hold seemingly conflicting thoughts and beliefs without becoming unsettled.

6. We can take full responsibility for our lives despite past trauma or neglect. We no longer think, speak, feel or behave like victims.

7. We do not victimize others.

8. We have a small group of people to whom we talk about almost everything, but feel no compulsion to tell everybody or anyone everything.

9. We stop apologizing for things for which we could never be held responsible in the first place.

10. We can stand up for ourselves without hurting others.

11. We can see that all things are related and know quick “solutions” to problems are likely to generate new, unexpected problems.

12. We appreciate each day as much as possible rather than seem to be waiting for a day when things will be better.

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