Is it possible to enjoy a long-term and committed relationship with an adult child of an alcoholic? Is it possible to have a committed and long-term intimate relationship if you are an adult child of an alcoholic?
Of course it is possible. Being the son or the daughter of an alcoholic is not a life-sentence of some variety although at some points in a person’s life it may seem like it.
Here are keys to such a relationship and they may be helpful to all relationships:
- Conflicts are not the end or even the beginning of the end or a sign that things will end.
- Regard conflict as healthy and a necessary component of love.
- Healthy people work things out, talk things through, find resolutions to issues, they don’t move on in the face of conflict.
- Healthy people move towards conflict and not away from it.
- It’s possible to accommodate (change, adjust) without losing.
- It is possible for both parties to grow through learning to accommodate.
- Being loving is more important than being right.
- Fragile people in fragile circumstances say things to partners who may be equally fragile that are hard to undo – caution and love and patience are essential with people who have grown up in families that endured regular conflict.