We are attracted to each other but….

by Rod Smith

“Is it possible to have a lasting and fulfilling relationship with someone who is on a different intellectual level and who also does not share many interests with you? Emotionally and physically there is a connection but I fear that eventually I will get bored or we’ll drift due to intellectual differences.”

People of varying or differing intellects can do well together. I’d suggest it is more complex. “Intellectual” is only one component.

If he bores you, you can always read a good book or spend time with a more interesting friend. He can do the same if it is you who bores him.

Rather, I am going to use the term “differentiated.” People who are equally differentiated (or not) will find each other attractive. Needs calls out to needs and strengths calls out to strengths.

Your mutual attraction is because you are similarly differentiated – despite levels of intellect. If you are not on a similar level of differentiation I’d suggest you’re in for battles.

The lower (more needy) levels will find the higher (less needy) to be standoffish or arrogant. The more differentiated person in the two-some will find the person lower on the scale to be high-maintenance or suffocating.

 The fact that you are asking this question is a really healthy sign. Love is usually blind and avoids important questions.

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