“I do everything I can to satisfy my husband only to be disrespected any and everywhere. He has choked me, left me, convinced me to co-sign for a car for him, lied about my friends. He had his brothers disrespect me, kissed other women’s hands in front of me. He talks about the women in front of me with his friends in seductive ways. I still feel like he will change one day and we will live happy ever after. I know this is a fairy-tale belief. I’m afraid that he will leave me and stay gone. I don’t feel like I can live without him. I have gone back to church and it is helping a lot. When he starts his mess I turn on my gospel music and he takes his drunk-self to sleep. I’ve learned that he cannot argue by himself. I’m praying about my situation. It’s just me being afraid to be alone again.” (Edited from comments)

While you are an expert in HIS behavior and unwilling to see your participation in your demise the toxic dance will persist. Until you “see the light”, and gather a community of women to support you, and are sufficiently courageous to call his bluff, he will not change. It is you who must.