Archive for January 17th, 2010

January 17, 2010

She dates unsavory men….

by Rod Smith

“Our daughter (23) seems committed to going out with the most unsavory characters. It is as if she wants to spite her father and me. I can handle it but it drives my husband crazy. He can hardly look at her anymore and seems to have lost all respect for her. She doesn’t seem to care one way or another which she says is a mark of her maturity. I am not asking you how to get my daughter to be different or to get my husband to change. I want to know why my daughter would so willingly keep doing what she knows causes her dad great pain?” (Edited)

Get out of the way so he can know his daughter.

Your daughter is an adult – and if she is mature in her ways, she would not be dating “unsavory characters” in order to spite you or your husband. Healthy people do not use some people in order to make a point with others.

If her dating is out of character for her, and if it is a result of her immaturity – it is unlikely she, or anyone, will be able to tell you what is motivating her – or that knowing the reasons will make the slightest difference.

I’d suggest you do all you can to support your husband, stay out of the middle, and refuse to try and explain his daughter’s behavior to him.