“I have been single for a few years after a 5 year marriage and I think it is time for me to start dating. The few men I have met or that I hear other women talk about want to get settled or they are looking for a step mother for their children after a rough divorce. I am not sure I am willing to put up with all it takes to find someone. What is the time span that would be healthy to leave before I date after a divorce? Is it unfair to date men when you have no real intention of marrying again?”

I suggest people allow at least one full calendar year (sometimes much longer) after any major relationship trauma has occurred before a similar relationship is once again pursued.

It seems, from reading your brief letter, that you are ready to look any man fully in the face and announce exactly what you want and do not want. I do not believe it is unfair to date while not seeking something permanent.

What is always unfair is giving the impression you want something that you are really not looking for at all.