Archive for January 10th, 2010

January 10, 2010

How can I win her over?

by Rod Smith

I have read your column with interest. A woman friend and I have known each other for twelve years and get on well. She went through a marriage to guy of one year and now is in process divorce. I have strong feelings for her and try to help out where can. She has “friend type” feelings for me. What can I do to win her over to love and later marriage?

Give her LOTS of ROOM

I am pleased my column has won your attention. You might want to wait and give her a lot of room to get through, and then over, her divorce. Even if she wants the divorce there is always fallout. So, you are not seeing her as she really is at the moment. She is probably not herself while facing an unknown future.

The best way to love her is to tell her she is free to mourn (or to be angry) and to get beyond her failed marriage. Life is LONG. Give her room. If she’s going to be your partner nothing you do will stop it. If you share all the power of mutual attraction and you are intelligent about being available, but not overwhelming for her, nothing will halt the natural progression your relationship will take.

January 10, 2010

Money and my son….

by Rod Smith

My wife and my ex-wife have been at each other’s throats for years over my adult son (25) who expects a lot from me. My ex-wife wants him to get all he can from me. This has become much worse over the past few months as things have been tighter financially and what I give to my son takes from what my wife can enjoy. My wife says he should be out earning a living while my ex-wife wants him to concentrate on his studies. He doesn’t have a job at the moment while he is in university. Please help.

What do you want?

What your wife and ex-wife want is somewhat clear to me while what you want remains unsaid. What do you want? You are the one writing the cheques. It immediately jars that a 25-year-old man is not working. I know he is studying, but if your son were to get a job and go to university, he will not be the first to do so. Support him financially until his studies are complete – but I’d suggest you substantially reduce his support so he has to seek part time employment. Tell him what you are planning before you put any plan into action.