Are you good for your children?

by Rod Smith

Here are 7 signs you might be too close or over-parenting your child (or children):

Have surrendered your power to your child?

1. Your child is central to all your conversations. Every conversation, no matter how initially unrelated, ultimately includes or returns to the topic of your child.

2. You deeply desire to be your child’s friend and so you avoid difficult issues, necessary conflicts and confrontations.

3. You find yourself in the middle, trapped between your partner and your child, your ex and your child, teachers (coaches, mentors) and your child, your parents and your child. You are a self-appointed shield and therefore attempt to fend off essential opportunities for helpful pain and growth, necessary for all children to become healthy adults.

4. Your child is the stake in the ground to which you are tethered and around which you function. Everything is about your child, all of your social life (if you have one at all), your interests, activities; everything is focused around your child.

5. Your primary adult relationship (with your spouse or partner – you might have forgotten that this is in fact your primary relationship) sometimes gets in the way of your role with your child and almost all of the time you choose your child and feel guilty if you do not.

(Tomorrow: Steps to healthy parent-child separation)

3 Responses to “Are you good for your children?”

  1. If I had only had this information 25 years ago, and been able to hear it.

  2. My experience indicates that this can apply to the parents of adult children, as well!

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