Two women talk about marrying men with children…

by Rod Smith

“My step children (12 and 14) are wonderful and give my husband and me no trouble at all. At the smallest signs of conflict my husband and I get together and we form a united front and we phone his ex-wife and discuss what is causing the issue. We use the ‘no blame’ approach by listening as much as possible. I love being a step mother and the children have no problem understanding that I am not even trying to take the place of their mother. This did not happen overnight and it was definitely the result of moving very slowly at first. Trust was very hard to build and I found I had to build it most with his ex-wife so she’d not be overly concerned about who it was who was also parenting her children.”

“I really hate being a stepmother. The children divide us all the time. He takes his children’s side over me every time even if they are obviously in the wrong. His ex-wife is harsh and controlling and I can’t wait for them all to grow up and leave home.”

(Conversations paraphrased with permission)

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One Comment to “Two women talk about marrying men with children…”

  1. I am also a stepmom to teen boys ages 13 and 15. When I’m parenting his sons who live with us most of the time, I make sure their father is informed about it. We usually have our quieting couple time at the end of the day when we talk about just about anything under the sun parenting his sons included. His attitude is that this is our house and the boys have to abide with whatever rules I have made. On my end, I make sensible rules as my appreciation to him for giving me a free hand at parenting. These rules are usually about maintaining a clean and tidy house, good moral conduct and maintaining a moral high ground so the boys will grow up to be good persons.

    I tend to agree with the first lady here that a positive attitude towards the stepkids can go a long way to a blissful existence. It is futile to “fight” the kids whom I knew were part of the package when I married their father.

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