To the so-called friend…

by Rod Smith

“To the so-called “friend” (You and Me, January 15, 2007) who wants to tell my husband about my ‘affair’ all I can say is that you are not friend enough to know the facts. You are an acquaintance but I would not describe you as my friend.

“To the outside world we are getting divorced because an illness. The truth is far harder to accept and far harder for me to have lived through. I have been controlled and manipulated to the point where I have lost my own identity and self worth. I was forbidden from joining groups or societies that shared my interests, forbidden from joining a church group, forbidden from joining a gym or running club or any exercise group, forbidden from seeing my friends or going out alone.

“You have no idea of the anguish, misery and heartache I have lived through because I have never considered you friend enough to know the intimate details. The small things I have let slip to you about my unhappiness resulted in condemnation from you, and no sympathy, empathy or support. My true friends were there when I needed them and as such know the truth.” (Letter shortened)

2 Comments to “To the so-called friend…”

  1. Depending on the filter we want to view our relationship through, almost anyone could justify an “affair”. What is written here is justification for inappropriate behavior, nothing more.

  2. Indeed, there is no justification (IMHO) for an affair, however I don’t think the OP is looking for any. The matter rests on the inability of the “friend” to keep their nose out of someone’s business. Obviously the “friend” is someone who cannot be avoided and obviously has their own agenda. It would be hard to say if things could have been worked out had there been someone there to help rather than to judge. Anytime someone forbids you to do something that normal and reasonable people do every day there is an obvious problem on their part which should be delt with or be sent packing.

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