Archive for January 7th, 2007

January 7, 2007

Should I meet his child’s mother (his soon-to-be ex-wife)?

by Rod Smith

“My boyfriend of 8 months and I are very much in love. He speaks of marriage. I can only assume that we will head that way in the near future. When we met he was still legally married although living apart from his wife. Despite some hesitation I went forward with my relationship trusting divorce was what he wanted. The divorce is now almost final. They have a three-year-old daughter and we have grown very close. I love her. She is so sweet and loving. My boyfriend says she asks for me. I have felt it would be appropriate for me to meet the mother because I am around her daughter so much which I assume will continue. I mentioned this to my boyfriend he was hesitant and I let it go. My boyfriend says “she is not the nicest person” and “you’ll meet her when the time is right!? Am I wrong?” (Letter edited – all posts are “cut” to about 200 words)

It is appropriate, and essential, that you meet the child’s mother since you (I assume) will co-parent the child. But methinks you are assuming too much (regarding his desire to marry you). Your future is far too valuable to be left to hopes and assumptions.