Archive for January 9th, 2007

January 9, 2007

Dangerous relationships…. four themes that occur within many letters….

by Rod Smith

The volume of letters I get from men and women who are in very toxic, even dangerous relationships, surprises me. Some have written that they have had to create the email account specifically for the one letter alone, and then had to delete the account, lest the one with whom they are in a “loving relationship” find the account and demand to read the email!


It makes me wonder just how much love exists between people when it appears their behavior has to be so covert, where games and hide and seek are necessary over something as normal as writing an Email in search of guidance.



There are several over-riding themes that are quite easy to identify from these many letters. I have not been gender specific as both men and women falling into these familiar traps. I will say more about each of them in a few days:



1. Loving too much. (It is possible to love so blindly that the love ceases to be love).

2. Forgiving where there is no effort to change. (Some forgiveness has to be conditional).

3. Remaining blind to the repeated faults of others. (Some faults in others must be eradicated if a relationship is to survive).

4. Continually excusing the inexcusable. (Somethings, like violence and abuse, must not be tolerated at all).