Archive for November 24th, 2010

November 24, 2010

I feel ashamed because I am back in the same situation….

by Rod Smith

“After a five-year abusive relationship I took two years to reflect and think. Then I met a boyfriend two years ago who was perfect for me. About a month into the relationship he started telling me he had a problem with the way I dress. I had told him all about the abuse in my last relationship. He told me my ex was crazy and that I am beautiful and that he should have been proud to be with me. So the guy who said my ex should have been proud of me is now the guy saying no skirts, no shorts, and no dresses. I’m not allowed to dye my hair black: it makes me look easy. If guys look at me it’s my fault. I feel ashamed because I’m back in the same situation as before and feel super dumb.” (Edited)

A man who has to control a woman does so for many reasons, none of which have anything to do with the woman. Perhaps it’s time to take another sabbatical from men. While you obey things will not improve. He told you HE has a problem with the way you dress after a month – and you are still with him 23 months later!

November 24, 2010

I never thought I’d be the one to have an affair…

by Rod Smith

“I never thought I’d be the one to have an affair. I work with a man who is 15 years younger and I have become obsessed with him. Now, after a wild three weeks, he is pulling back and is guilt ridden. He won’t take my calls. He won’t look at me. He’s probably going to change his job to get away. This is driving me insane for so many reasons. My husband of 25 years has no idea but to think something is up since I have been so irrational. I had no idea I could become so trapped by my own thoughts and behaviors. I’ve gone from feeling self-righteous about women who cheat to feeling like a criminal. Please help.” (Edited)

1. Go cold turkey – this means no contact, no calls, no chasing, and no emails – nothing. You cannot get over something you have found this powerful if you keep feeding it.

2. Get professional help. A trained person will guide you through the quagmire of trying to make sense of the nonsense you have co-created.

I have been overwhelmed with the response to “Give Something Away Every Day” as published on Friday November 19th, 2010. If you’d like to join or read the stories please go to GSAED on Facebook.