An emotionally healthy person allows himself to honor his deepest inclinations for AUTONOMY and INTIMACY both in himself and others. I call them DUELING DESIRES…..

AUTONOMY: The powerful instinctual longing to be self-directed and separate from others. It is the “you” who wants to be free of all ties, all responsibilities. It is the “you” that fears absorption by others; the “you” who wants to let your hair blow in the wind, feel the sun on your back and live a carefree life without things that tie you down. This is the spirit of the Wild in you, the lone-ranger, and pioneer. This desire, I believe, is God-breathed, God-inspired, and a necessary part of your survival and growth.

INTIMACY: The powerful instinctual longing to be close with others. It is the “you” that wants to belong, be known and be part of a family, a team. It is the “you” that fears abandonment and desertion; the you who longs for a unified journey with others, the you that wakes up at night and wonders with horror, what it would be like to be totally alone. This is the nest-making part of you, the part who longs for the sounds, symbols and reality of a shared life. This desire, I believe, is God-breathed, God-inspired and a necessary part of your survival and growth.