I get a little peeved when cartoons portray a passive therapist repeating how do you feel? as if feelings are the cornerstone of effective therapy. In decades of therapeutic encounters how do you feel?may be the question I have asked least.

Feelings are deceptive. Fleeting. Feelings offer a poor guide to healthy action and often trap clients in inaction.

Thinking is what makes the difference. I am far more interested in what my clients THINK than I am in what clients FEEL. Of course I acknowledge the importance of feelings, but I am careful to avoid elevating feelings so they trump thinking.

I believe people think their way into a new and helpful ways of behaving.

The head (thinking) is a far more-trustworthy leader than the heart.

I have seen many a client think (read, plan, plot, negotiate, strategize) his or her way out of an overwhelming personal dilemma while he or she was, at the same time, FEELING overwhelmed, debilitated, incapable of doing anything.

Getting your head into gear can pull your entire life into a whole new realm of helpful, good feelings, which of course, as I said, are not to be overly trusted.