“My sons (22, 24) live in London and hardly ever make contact with us. This is very painful as we have always been a close family. What happens to young people when they go overseas? My friends tell me it is because sons and they are made to fly away. I am not sure who takes it worse, their father or me. If they do phone we feel we can’t say anything as it might stop the phone calls completely. Please help.” (Edited)
Suggest a routine – perhaps a phone call every two weeks on a Sunday evening, their time. If you know when to expect a call it is less likely that your anxiety will spike daily in the hopes that they will call.Also, suggest each son establishes his own phoning routine.
The “made to fly” theory I do not think holds much water. When I have met young South Africans overseas I’ve met very busy men and women who are often working more than one job, sharing sparse accommodations, and who are busy trying to establish themselves while often longing to be at home in South Africa.