Archive for November 9th, 2010

November 9, 2010

She doesn’t want a single meal without me…..

by Rod Smith

“I really need some space in my relationship. We’ve been together for about two months now and it has been a whirlwind of a romance. I am missing my family and my friends. She, on the other had, can’t even begin to think of her life before we met. She wants to merge bank accounts, phone accounts, and doesn’t want to have a single meal without me. As I said, I, on the other hand, really need some room to move. I am having a lot of fun and I do love her, I just need a little time alone now and again. How do I break this to her?”

Gently. Firmly. Immediately. Admit your role in failing to declare your need for “space” at the outset. Apologize. Suggest a plan. Before you meet, decide how much breathing space you need (two evenings a week, all of every Sunday, alternate weekends?) and be fully prepared, at least in the immediate future, to stick to it. It is likely you will face some backlash – but I’d suggest you face it now rather than later.

Once one person begins feeling trapped, unless there is a radical willingness to shift things from both parties, things usually go downhill once the sentiment is expressed.