Don’t hold me accountable until you do that with your bratty kid!

by Rod Smith

“I have a daughter (5) and I have been with my partner for over a year. My daughter stays with her grandparents during the week to help me with gas. My partner does not work and I pay all the bills. He gets angry with me because he believes that I do not hold my daughter accountable. I don’t hit my child but I do talk to her so she has an

Rod Smith, MSMFT

understanding what she is doing is wrong. I do not want my daughter to fear me, I want her to respect me. He has a drinking problem and surrounds with people that are no good. When I bring up my concern he says, ‘Don’t hold me accountable until you do that with your own bratty kid.’ What am I to do? I want to leave but I feel as though he would fail himself and put himself in situations that will jeopordize his life and well being. I love him but I believe that things will never change.”

This will go nowhere worth going for you until you love yourself more than you love your daughter and you love your daughter more than you love him. I’d suggest you devise an immediate escape plan. Your daughter, not this manipulator, is your responsibility.

Jean Hatton

I think being ‘held accountable’ is a good idea, but not concerning him. I would ask you to consider that you have brought this man into your home and by so doing, have put yourself and your daughter’s well being at risk. It sounds like he has done nothing but add stress and guilt to your life as he makes demands on you to keep him happy. Loving your daughter is your priority. Be accountable for the decision that you made to bring this angry controlling man into your lives — and choose the healthy way out.

2 Comments to “Don’t hold me accountable until you do that with your bratty kid!”

  1. I know the advice you are getting probably sounds harsh to you – but it’s the only advice you can be given right now and deep down, you already knew it.

    Your daughter counts, you count, he needs to take care of himself. If you didn’t have to pay his way, would you be able to afford the gas and not have your daughter with her grandparents during the week? Don’t sacrifice the important and worthwhile things in your life.

  2. You’re child is not “bratty” – you know it & I know it. She’s a typical 5 year old and you’re parenting in the instinctive, right way. Don’t change it and most importantly, DON’T allow someone else to demean her or call her names! YOU are your child’s advocate – do what’s right. That means cutting out this negative, controlling, name calling leech out of your life.

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