Archive for February 6th, 2010

February 6, 2010

Marriage isn’t easy…..

by Rod Smith

ACT, Australia

Marriage, for a start, isn’t easy. Putting our hope for happiness in another doesn’t work.

I (we) have come to 42 years of marriage years because:

1. I took responsibility for my own life and own happiness and stopped depending on my husband to make me happy.
2. I began to discover who I was in the relationship…and stopped becoming what my husband wanted me to be.
3. I gave myself permission to have a ‘voice’ – and listened to the person inside me – the one who had never been listened to before – and in that way, I began to discover my value as an individual. I wasn’t just a wife and mother but a unique individual with gifts and talents, strengths and weaknesses.
4. I also sought help from a professional because the things that I just described to you, I couldn’t do on my own. I needed help. The person I saw gave me another perspective of my life that I had never seen before. It was in that place that I found hope and a new beginning as a new world opened up before me.

Marriage is still work for us but I discovered that the relationship, no matter how difficult, can also be a way to grow and learn more about myself as well as give to my spouse what he needs in our relationship. Both of us by the way came from dysfunctional homes where we hadn’t learned how to relate in a healthy way.