My wife and my ex-wife have been at each other’s throats for years over my adult son (25) who expects a lot from me. My ex-wife wants him to get all he can from me. This has become much worse over the past few months as things have been tighter financially and what I give to my son takes from what my wife can enjoy. My wife says he should be out earning a living while my ex-wife wants him to concentrate on his studies. He doesn’t have a job at the moment while he is in university. Please help.

What your wife and ex-wife want is somewhat clear to me while what you want remains unsaid. What do you want? You are the one writing the cheques. It immediately jars that a 25-year-old man is not working. I know he is studying, but if your son were to get a job and go to university, he will not be the first to do so. Support him financially until his studies are complete – but I’d suggest you substantially reduce his support so he has to seek part time employment. Tell him what you are planning before you put any plan into action.

Posted on January 10, 2010 at 5:17 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL