“My husband calls me stupid. He gives me the ‘silent treatment’ for days. He says things like ‘I’ll talk to you when you say something intelligent’. What am I to do?” (Edited)
Equals, not opposites, attract - when it comes to levels of functioning.
But, hold that thought. Expressing it to him is likely to generate unhelpful conflict.
Remove yourself when he’s abusive, and, at least for a time, hold your tongue. The less you respond the greater will be the possibility that he will hear his own cruelty. For a few days, even weeks, offer no comeback to stoke his fire or stroke his foolishness.
Then, when the atmosphere is right (few couples fight round the clock) initiate a conversation. Tell him how his words damage both of you, how unattractive it is to be labeled, debased. Suggest his callousness says nothing about you and everything about him. Inform him that even “stupid women” have limits to accommodating abuse, and that he ought to seek professional help before he grinds all the goodwill out of his marriage forever.
