Archive for May 17th, 2010

May 17, 2010

How do I learn to love myself?

by Rod Smith

“Please tell me how to love myself more than I love others. I just don’t know how. I don’t want to become selfish and rude.”

Take full responsibility for your own life.....

Avoiding self-love (abdication) IS selfish and rude. Loving yourself, part of which entails taking full responsibility for yourself, is not. I am not attempting to persuade my readers to become pushy, self-centered, or demanding. I am simply suggesting that readers do not put their own lives on hold while loving or caring for another.

Self-care, self-love, self-awareness is a prerequisite for loving anyone, or anything.

Three simple starters:

1. Stop silencing your own voice. If you do or don’t like something – say so. If you do or do not want something – say so. If your voice has been silenced for a long time expressing it might take others by surprise and you might even be made fun of by those who are accustomed to your silence.

2. Write down, in a private journal, what you want from life using twenty or fewer words. What you want may not include anyone else like “I want my husband to be kind to me”. This is wanting for him, not for you. Kindness is something he has to want!

3. Speak up (cautiously at first) about anything that causes you discomfort where your involvement runs contrary with your values.