Archive for May 26th, 2010

May 26, 2010

The children run all over her…..

by Rod Smith

“I am single and seeing a woman in her thirties. She has two children (about 9 and 7) who run all over her. She has no idea how to discipline them. They need a strong man to discipline them and I think that is going to be me. Is this a good idea since I am probably not going to marry their mother?” (Heavily edited)

Why would you continue to date someone when you know you are probably not going to move toward marriage? This is only acceptable if you have told her you have no intentions of marrying her and she has agreed, given this knowledge, to continue seeing you.

While you are the obvious candidate to assist a mother who appears to you to be overwhelmed (my word not yours) the helpful challenge would be to empower the mother to be more effective. While the mother may invite, and even desire, your help with disciplining the children, it is not a good idea for the long haul.

If you get between parent and child you will find it tough when she inevitably sides with the children against you. Remember, “piggy in the middle” is fun for everyone, except piggy! Stay out of other people’s issues – especially when there is no formal commitment.