Archive for May 2nd, 2010

May 2, 2010

There’s a time limit on blaming parents…..

by Rod Smith

“My parents divorced when I was 12. I am 25 and in my first real relationship. She is a kind and loving woman who deserves the very best of everything and yet I find myself being critical of her for the smallest of things. We have not had a major argument yet and I am dreading it. Please offer me some thoughts to help us avoid problems that will be a result of my parents’ divorce.” (Edited)

Take full responsibility for your own life.....

Your quirks are yours – try to avoid blaming your parents or your girlfriend for your issues that can offer you enormous opportunities for maturity and growth. While your parents’ issues and your painful history will have some bearing on the manner in which you perceive relationships, there is a time limit on blaming parents. At 25, I’d suggest your time has run out! Proximity (growing nearness, deeper involvement, intimacy) often provokes unsettling feelings in one or both partners and so some conflict is inevitable – so speak about it! Tell your girlfriend what’s going on inside you. Let her “see” what you are experiencing rather than focus on what she is doing. Speak about things before you erupt.