How do I learn to love myself?

by Rod Smith

“Please tell me how to love myself more than I love others. I just don’t know how. I don’t want to become selfish and rude.”

Take full responsibility for your own life.....

Avoiding self-love (abdication) IS selfish and rude. Loving yourself, part of which entails taking full responsibility for yourself, is not. I am not attempting to persuade my readers to become pushy, self-centered, or demanding. I am simply suggesting that readers do not put their own lives on hold while loving or caring for another.

Self-care, self-love, self-awareness is a prerequisite for loving anyone, or anything.

Three simple starters:

1. Stop silencing your own voice. If you do or don’t like something – say so. If you do or do not want something – say so. If your voice has been silenced for a long time expressing it might take others by surprise and you might even be made fun of by those who are accustomed to your silence.

2. Write down, in a private journal, what you want from life using twenty or fewer words. What you want may not include anyone else like “I want my husband to be kind to me”. This is wanting for him, not for you. Kindness is something he has to want!

3. Speak up (cautiously at first) about anything that causes you discomfort where your involvement runs contrary with your values.

2 Comments to “How do I learn to love myself?”

  1. I never knew that authenticating yourself was a way of loving yourself. I like that.

  2. Loving our self is important as loving the others. We can’t really love the others if we don’t love our self.It`s seemed practically impossible. It looks like only a” verb”. So our needs are as important that the other`s needs.If not there is a selfishness or an abuse ,or we want to rescue somebody else life. Also it might be we say “I am OK if you are OK”.If we want to love just love our self before because we can`t give what we don`t have.
    I agree that in another side ,we need to bear the other`s weaknesses,and laid down ourself(if we need to do that) but this act does not affect “who we are “because we know our value.
    -Just accept who “you are .
    -Don`t blame your self.
    -If you find 1 thing negative about your self ,then look for 10 things positive too.Then work on this negative one.
    -Don`t expect somebody else or your partner to reward you,Go buy a gift for your self after you have done an hard work.Just let him or her know what you want or need.And if He doesn`t react ,go and give Joy to your self.
    Just BE like a flower because only beautiful butterfly is attracted by a blossom flower.

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