I’m married to a pessimist…..

by Rod Smith

“There is an expression that says ‘Two men looked out of the prison bars and one saw mud and the other saw stars.’ Please give me your opinion on ‘negative people’ and how to handle them. I have been married to one for many years and at times it gets me down.”

It is a matter of perspective as “negative people” usually see themselves, not as pessimists, but as “grounded” realists

While it might be hard to believe, your sense of optimism might be as tiring for your spouse as is your spouse’s pessimism is for you.

I’d suggest you avoid the attempt to change a negative person into a positive one. This will meet great resistance and you will unnecessarily corner (or trap) each other over matters that are not worth fighting over.

Try to accept that you are married to a person whom you regard as being negative just as you spouse will have to accept that he or she is married to an optimist. Do not allow your spouse to infect you with negativity (to change you) anymore than you want to try change what they are. Surrender control.

No matter what attitudes surround you, remember that it is you alone, who determines your mood on any given day.

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