Archive for February 20th, 2006

February 20, 2006

Desperate seekers of romance will probably not find a good thing

by Rod Smith

Desperation, hunting down romantic love as if it is the most important thing on Earth, makes you live bait for unhealthy attachment. It will propel you to seek love for all the wrong reasons and in all the wrong places. The person who is desperate for romantic love is unlikely to be able to identify healthy love and get it confused with one of love’s many counterfeits.

The desperate for romance ought to not go looking for it.

Desperation fuels unhealthy connection.

The anxious, hyper-aware vibe produced by your vigilant search will attract he or she whose attention you really don’t want.

Desperate people attract equally desperate people. Despite the whirlwind excitement and romance that might ensue, the relationship will self-destruct leaving both people worse off than before they met.

The desperate person is encouraged to immerse him or herself in a community of honest, healthy friends (and remain cautious about frequently verbalizing the pangs of his or her romantic dilemma for this can wear very thin). Then, having become less desperate about finding a partner, less anxious about being alone, less “need driven,” a healthy potential partner may walk through the door seeking little more than high quality friendship only to find your healthy disinterest very appealing.