My husband left me a year ago for another woman. He has introduced my children (12, 14, 15) to her. She stays the night with them at his flat every second weekend like they are one happy family. My children come home very upset. They cannot tell him they do not like this arrangement. He says they have fun with her. I know they are being nice because they are nice children and don’t know how else to treat a grown woman. What can I do?
Rod Replies: Your children are walking the tightrope of divided loyalties. Children should be encouraged to tell their parents the truth about what they see and feel, even if what they see and feel does not please the parent. This is a very difficult situation (for all of you) over and above the inherent difficulties of divorce.
Try not to talk negatively about your ex-husband or his new woman as such talk will only serve to set the children against you. If you are able, pass no comment about his living arrangements. Your children are old enough to draw their own conclusions and make their own assessments about their father and his values.
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