Some troubled couples seeking therapy are highly motivated. They are willing to do whatever it takes to rediscover each other. They are each ready to address their conflicts, hurts, disappointment or whatever it is that drives them to professional help. Other couples, by the time they call a therapist, have already reached a point of such distraction that divorce seems to be their only viable option.
Both of these couples can be helped. People can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles, and discover each other afresh, if they were willing to learn and willing to act upon very basic, tried principles of healthy relationships.
Then, and very sadly, some couples seek therapy when one person is already living with packed bags. The spouse has already “checked out” of the marriage, is already resigned to the failure of the relationship, yet agrees therapy in order to say that he or she tried to get help but help didn’t work. This is of course, is a waste of everyone’s time.
The motivated couple, and the desperate couple, are each, closer to resolution and to negotiating a working, loving marriage, than is a couple where one of the partners is already living with packed bags.
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