Dating a single mother sucks……

by Rod Smith

“I suggested my girlfriend and her 4-year-old son move in with me. The second day I knew it was a bad idea. Dirty plates, food, clothes everywhere; disorder, chaos. Sometimes I hate the boy. He manipulates my girlfriend. He is destroying our relationship. We talk about it and she says, ‘He’s just a kid.’ He is ADHD and she won’t use medicine. Every time we go to the cinemas we have to leave in the middle because the boy can’t sit still. In restaurants he is under the table and throws food. The boy NEVER has a punishment and now he punches us. I doubt our future. I don’t want the boy in my life. She rarely bathes him so he smells bad. She makes him to watch television on my bed and I hate to go to my bed and smell her child. I cannot rest in my bedroom. I really love her. My family says that i must leave her. Dating a single mother sucks.”

So, how do you really feel? It seems mother and son need something you are not equipped to offer. Tell the woman your truth with the willingness to act upon it. This environment is not serving anyone of the three of you well.

8 Responses to “Dating a single mother sucks……”

  1. It is not dating a single mother that is the problem– it’s obvious your signficant other’s lack of responsbility and willingness to behave like an adult and a lack of parenting skills is the issue. That said, while you may love her greatly, her child is going to continue to play a role in disrupting the relationship. You can’t remove the child and cannot force her to properly parent or take responsibility. Move on, but don’t judge every other single mom– or their children by this experience.

  2. Kid’s have a relationship with their single mother and don’t like another man moving in on their relationship. Think of how it would feel if your girlfriend invited another man to live with you. Then you would have some idea of how her sn feels. I suspect that to him you are just another starnger who doesn”t give a dam about him who is passing trough and the qucker you are out of there the better, as far as he’s concerned. Why would it be any different?
    By the way body odor in the animal kingdom is both a way to say “this my property” and “bugger off.”
    If you want the reationship to last, you would need to step back and build a relatonship with her son as well. Probably not that difficult if you are able to empathize with his perspective and have some patience. Single mom’s are a package deal. Accept that or look for someone who’s just single.
    Your singe mom may also have some issues around using her son to meet her relational needs when she’s single, which would set him up to be very resistant to another man.
    Oh, and “Dating” is different from moving in. if you didn’t understand that before, you should by now. If you love her you should be willing to forgo moving in, even if it takes until he has left home. Parenting takes that kind of commitment.
    Good luck

  3. I’ve recently made the mistake of dating a single mother. I met a beautiful woman, she was more beautiful than any other woman I had ever dated (and I have dated many very beautiful women. I’m serious- I was the lead vocalist in a nationally touring band, and an undefeated prizefighter. I had no shortage of hot women to see.) Her beauty intoxicated me. I also missed having an actual emotional connection to someone. I was used to banging girls and moving on. I wanted something honest and real.
    THe reality of it is, that single moms will trap you. They can’t help but do so. They know their kid needs a father, and that is what you become. The surrogate father, the band aid on a war wound. SHe fucked up, chose the wrong person, was dumb enough to have a kid with them… that is the bottom line. When you step into that situation, you are a means to an end. SHe will do what she can to get you interested, she will make those first months so fucking wonderful you can’t explain it. Then, as time sets in, she will start to unfold her plan. I do not believe that this is a conscious thing. SIngle mothers aren’t evil life sucking bitches, they are trying to survive. BUt they will use you. REmember this, and if you have already started dating a single mother, you know: you will come last. You are the least most important thing on her list of priorities. Yeah man, you. THis is exactly the opposite with a woman who doesn’t have kids. A single mom cares about her kid, herself, her extracurriculars (b/c she has to fight have any), and then you. Once she has you, meaning, once she ropes you into developing a relationship with her child, you will move to the end of her priority list. Trust me. DOn’t believe me? Wait.
    That’s when she has you. Because if you are a good man, once you’ve developed a relationship with her kid, you won’t leave. You will feel obligated to stay. ONce he starts calling you “dad” you won’t want to break his heart. She has you. You will continue to come in last. She will start asking more and more of you. Things like alone time with her, romance and passion will no longer exist. Sex will become conditional, she will treat it like a chore. You will see all of this unfold slowly, before you can realize how deep you are in.
    DOn’t believe me? Try it, see what happens.
    AVOID SINGLE MOTHERS AT ALL COST! I write this while sitting in a living room after having put her kid to sleep. She is at work. When she comes home she will tell me she is tired and go to sleep. I will wake up and go to work and it will start all over again. If you are a young successful attractive young man, AVOID SINGLE MOMS AT ALL COST- NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS, OR HOW NICE SHE IS. AVOID THEM.
    Please listen to me on this. Please.

  4. dante i am single mom and i can not express how much i totally agree with what u said that is exactly what were looking for hahaha and we don’t do it cuz we’re evil.

  5. Ahahaha…you’re absolutely right! You do it because you’re a bunch of selfish hose bags seeking a Free Ride! You say you’re not evil? You didn’t seem to mind “Rubbing Salt” in Dante’s wounds…did ya???

  6. I’ve been there…done that…and never going there again! Dante…you really ought to make a Run for It! While you still have your Sanity…and your Cash?!!!

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