Whose issue is it?

by Rod Smith

“My girlfriend says she loves me and would never cheat on me. The problem is she has had a lot of casual intimate relationships in the past but says she has changed and wants to be with only me for the rest of her life. I would like to know what she does when I am not around. I can’t be around her all the time and when I am not I feel as if she is going back to her old ways. I ask her to call me and to text me every hour or so when we are not together just to be certain she is ok but she doesn’t want to do this. I want her to stay at home with her family when she is not with me just to be safe. Whenever I confront her about this stuff she starts crying. She says I don’t trust her but there is so much that has happened in the past that I think she should do what I ask so she can regain my trust.”

While her past torments you and while you monitor her behavior you will not find a mutual, trusting, and respectful relationship. It is you that has the trust issue.

One Comment to “Whose issue is it?”

  1. I have to agree with Rod, you are smothering your girlfriend and she probably feels trapped with having to call or text you every hour when you are not together. She is not your possession and has chosen to be with you but she could just as easily choose not to be with you if you try to control her every movement.

    There is nothing worse than feeling trapped within a relationship. I have been in a similar circumstances where my ex would calculate the time it should take for me to get back from work etc. and if I was a minute or 2 late we would have an argument. I remained in the relationship far too long before leaving him. My freedom became worth more to me than the pain of a broken relationship.

    May I suggest you see a professional to help you with your feelings of insecurity otherwise I know your relationship doesn’t have a chance.

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