Archive for March 22nd, 2010

March 22, 2010

He threatens suicide….

by Rod Smith

Do not be cornered.....

I received a letter yesterday from a mother of an adult son who seeks financial help from his parents and then threatens suicide if refused. I responded, but the email “bounced back.” So I have to go public:

It is, as you say, a bad idea for most families to get into business together. It gets messy. If your son does take HIS life, it will not be because of anything you have or have not done. This is what suicide is — it is SELF inflicted. I hope this is NOT the choice he makes.

I’d suggest you give him no money at all. He is NO longer a child. He needs medical, not financial help. He will not grow up and he will not do well while you are bailing him out.

If you do not help you will not CAUSE anything to occur to him or to his children. It is HIS family and HIS responsibility. Let him know this as soon as possible and then STICK to your word.

I will also mourn if your son makes dumb choices (and I am a stranger) BUT until he sees that his life and future are fully in his hands you will have this noose around your neck.

Your mothering is OVER. Focus on you and your husband.