Attraction to a co-worker: should I tell him….?

by Rod Smith

READER: I am feeling very attracted to a co-worker. This attraction has not gone anywhere yet. I do not want to ruin my marriage. In the interests of honesty should I tell this man about my feelings to deflate the attraction?

ROD: Absolutely not – your feelings of attraction to this man are not about this man, in fact, (unless he is encouraging you) your feelings have nothing to do with him!

Here’s the axiom: You have the feeling – you have the problem.

If you are going to express this to anyone, in an attempt to “deflate the attraction,” it ought to be your husband. Such a conversation, were it to occur, must be handled with great care. Tread carefully. It takes great maturity for a couple to discuss matters that appear to be undermining their primary relationship.

3 Comments to “Attraction to a co-worker: should I tell him….?”

  1. Sure do agree. Telling someone your romantic feelings to “deflate” them makes about as much sense as pouring oil on a fire to put it out!

  2. Makes sense, there is nothing to be gained by telling of your attraction to this man. Sounds like you are looking for permisson to do what you know you should not do.

  3. How can you possibly not hurt your spouse by telling a coworker you are attracted to them? Are you off your rocker? How would you like your spouse to do that? Rule of thumb: If you’d feel uncomfortable saying something to someone in your spouse’s presence, don’t say it when they’re not around!

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