My ex-husband asks for money all the time……

by Rod Smith

“My ex-husband is very irresponsible when it comes to finances even thought he earns more money than I do. He comes to me to lend him money all the time. I try to budget well so I feel bad to say no. But what hurts is that he also comes in and out of my house like it is his. He will come over and sit and watch a movie when he supposed to be ‘visiting’ the children. How do I set the boundaries in terms of my space and not having to worry about his financial problems, as we no longer married? He chose to be with someone else rather than stay and fix the marriage.”

Attraction

Stop the supply.....

Your ex-husband will take advantage of your home and finances and invade your boundaries for as long as you permit it.

Stop the supply. Bolt (metaphorically) your doors. Cut the ties. Have the children meet or see him outside of your home. Quit being his mother, his Mother Theresa, and the one who enables his stunted development.

No problem is ever solved if you keep feeding it.

That he asks you for anything is not a sign of love, or hope, and nor is it a suggestion that anything might be mended in the future. His behavior confirms that he has failed to grow up. He will take advantage of anyone who will cooperate with his selfish ways.

Get over “feeling bad” – the man feels nothing for you. He will not starve if you don’t supply. If the man can leave his wife and children for another woman believe me he’ll find another supply-line when you stop yours up.

Every penny you give him enables his parasitic ways.

2 Comments to “My ex-husband asks for money all the time……”

  1. Excellent article! I agree totally and will take the advice in my similar situation as well.

    keep up the great work!

  2. I agree with Rod’s answer as well. I have a similar situation – my children and I have been living in the family home since my husband left last fall an dwe agreed to share expenses as before while we (he!) decided what to do (stay or leave). He always comes in the house and won’t leave, saying he owns the place. He doesn’t ask for money but he throws insults mky way and tries to pick fights. I’d rather give him money! 🙂

    In 4 days the kids and I are moving to our new apartment, the house has finally been sold and we are starting fresh. This post has reinforced my decision to never let him come into my apartment. Not for a long time anyway.

    Thanks!

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