To the married woman in the affiar with a married man (yesterday’s letter)…..

by Rod Smith

Attraction is only enduringly poss

Affairs seduce you away from REAL love

Your thoughts about “your” married man (he’s no more yours than is the man in the moon) and your husband, expressed in yesterday’s column, are a fine illustration of three things:

1. Love, and the illusion of it, often makes a person blind. You appear unaware that every time you are together he, whom you claim has never lied to you or led you on, is lying to you. That he is lying to his wife (with whom he has a covenant and legally recorded relationship) means he can as readily lie to you (with whom he has no legal relationship at all). You are duping each other no matter how well you dress it up in your head.

2. It’s next to impossible to convince the already convinced. It is unlikely you will take any guidance very seriously while you believe this “love” has come “knocking” to teach you something worth learning. Improving your skills at ducking, diving, hiding, and lying never led anyone to deeper intimacy, more openness, greater warmth, and appropriate vulnerability.

3. The human mind is capable of gigantic twists to rationalize its dilemmas. It is a crock to think this “love” is teaching you to better love others while you are at the same time deceiving these very same people.

2 Comments to “To the married woman in the affiar with a married man (yesterday’s letter)…..”

  1. and all the time that you and he spend together…is time away from working on your marriage.
    all this time is being rationalized as “he/she doesn’e understand me.

    if people put half as much time into their marriage as they do rationalizing and cheating, the divorce rate would drop drastically. any relationship based on lies and deception is already off to a rocky start.

    and yes…my wife cheated on me. but it wasb’t really cheating because she can not control her heart nor change the past. that’s why she cheated twice with the same man.

  2. I’d pay for your advice to go on a billboad!

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