Your thoughts about “your” married man (he’s no more yours than is the man in the moon) and your husband, expressed in yesterday’s column, are a fine illustration of three things:

1. Love, and the illusion of it, often makes a person blind. You appear unaware that every time you are together he, whom you claim has never lied to you or led you on, is lying to you. That he is lying to his wife (with whom he has a covenant and legally recorded relationship) means he can as readily lie to you (with whom he has no legal relationship at all). You are duping each other no matter how well you dress it up in your head.

2. It’s next to impossible to convince the already convinced. It is unlikely you will take any guidance very seriously while you believe this “love” has come “knocking” to teach you something worth learning. Improving your skills at ducking, diving, hiding, and lying never led anyone to deeper intimacy, more openness, greater warmth, and appropriate vulnerability.

3. The human mind is capable of gigantic twists to rationalize its dilemmas. It is a crock to think this “love” is teaching you to better love others while you are at the same time deceiving these very same people.

Posted on May 25, 2011 at 5:07 am in Affairs, Attraction, Betrayal, Boundaries, Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL