Archive for May 22nd, 2011

May 22, 2011

Jealousy is quick-sand….

by Rod Smith

This must be faced.....

Jealousy in an intimate relationship is quicksand. Don’t mess with it. Accommodate it and it will suck you both in. Try to reason with it, or teach, change, or appease it, and it will constantly outsmart you.

To the non-jealous partner…

Conduct an inventory. Is your “flirting” within the realm of how sane, kind people conduct themselves? If your actions are designed to test the metal of your relationship then you are being manipulative. Stop. If not, continue. If you are not, yourself, being manipulative (this is for you and not your partner to answer) then continue. This is time for your to stay out of control.

To the jealous partner…

Jealousy is your problem. In a more sane moment you will probably agree that it is your issue. Jealous people read volumes into the innocent actions of others and attribute motives to others that are so far from original intent.

To both of you…

Smiling is not flirting. Kindness is not flirting. The flirt knows when he or she is flirting – but the jealous person will read everything as flirting.

Once you engage it, give it a voice, try to prove it has no place or need to exist, try to reason with it, it will duck under your “let’s be reasonable” discussions and emerge later to drain you and your relationship of all vitality.

Given and audience, jealousy will remove all joy and spontaneity from your relationship and then, once its done its nasty work of destroying a good relationship, it will leave you burnt out, feeling guilty, and even looking haggard.